It's Not About You!
by Vaneria Potter
Summary: Bella wondered what she would be like as a Newborn, if she would give into obsession like Victoria, like the female Cold One of the Quilt legends. The thought frightened her, but it was too late to turn back now. Spitefic, or: A realistic look of what might happen if Bella bothered to actually communicate with Jake in Eclipse about the non-Edward reasons to become a Vampire.


_Disclaimer: Not mine (wouldn't want it), don't own, don't sue_

_Summary: Bella wondered what she would be like as a Newborn, if she would give into obsession like Victoria, like the female Cold One of the Quilt legends. The thought frightened her, but it was too late to turn back now._  
_A realistic look of what might happen if Bella bothered to actually communicate with Jake in Eclipse, and think about what becoming a Vampire really entailed._

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**It's Not About You!**

Walking along the beach near La Push was familiar, so much that Bella could almost pretend that she had gone back in time, to when things were simpler, and every minute wasn't spent in fear of her life.  
At the very least, a time when she could still feign ignorance about Jake's feelings toward her, or rightfully claim that she was still recovering from Edward abandoning her. As if her thoughts had tempted fate, the boy walking beside her nudged her hand, "I guess you'll miss this, when you leave."

In the past, Bella would have desperately ignored the anvil-sized hint, but time was running short, and Jake deserved better than that. "Look, Jake… it's not about picking between you or Edward."

He frowned, understandably confused. "What do you mean?"

Briefly, Bella wondered if telling Jake would break even more rules, and just as quickly dismissed the idea. The Pack already knew that Vampires existed, further understanding of the hierarchy could only help. She bit her lip, trying to organise her scattered thoughts. "OK, bear with me for a bit. It's like how you couldn't tell me about being a spirit wolf, but much bigger. The Cullens agreed to a treaty to keep from being exposed, because for them exposure means death."

Jake raised a skeptical eyebrow, "Not to hate on Humanity, but they're not exactly at a disadvantage-"

Bella shook her head, wishing that there was a simple way to explain it, "No, not from humans, from the Volturi."

Jake frowned again, and Bella wished that she was better at explaining things to an audience. "The who now?"

The trip to Italy still gave Bella nightmares, every second seared into her brain, unforgettable. "As I understand it, basically the Rulers of the Vampires. They kill Covens, or humans, who risk exposing their existence. When I went to Italy, I met them, and the only reason I came back alive was because they - Alice and Edward, I mean - promised that I would become a Vampire. If they come to check up on me and find me still a human… it's not just me in danger."

Understanding dawned on her friend's russet face. "You think they won't trust that you kept your mouth shut. I don't suppose the term 'overkill' is familiar to them, at all?"

Bella wanted to laugh at the pun, but the memory of human screams was too fresh, even months later, for her to do so. "No. They killed entire Covens when they couldn't be sure that one member acted alone, and wiped out whole villages or towns in the past. Forks, the Res… I won't risk that."

Jake nodded thoughtfully, then looked her directly in the face, dark eyes piercing through her. "You said you wanted to become a Vampire, though."

Bella nodded, feeling a twinge of shame on behalf of her foolish younger self. "I did, when my only examples of Vampires were Edward's family and a single nomad coven that I could dismiss as outliers. When everything was like a fairytale, and when I blamed myself for not being enough for Edward."

Jake softened, putting his arm around her shoulders, like he had so many times during those long, awful months when he painstakingly pieced her shatters self back together. Bella managed to smile at him. "That Victoria seeking revenge because someone acted in self-defence is the normal for Vampire couples, the descriptions of what Newborns are like, the bloodlust before I gain enough control to not kill people… I'm scared, but the consequences of NOT becoming a Vampire are worse."

Jake sighed heavily, stepping back. "I'm going to have to take this to the Council, Bells."

She blinked at the abrupt change of subject, "What, why?"

Jake gestured, trembling slightly, but not enough for her to back away before he exploded into a wolf. "Because we promised war and exposure if they changed a human or threatened our tribe. This is extenuating circumstances, and the Elders need to know. There may be a way around it, now that it's a choice between letting the Cullens change you or the potential death of half the Olympic Peninsula."

Put like that, it made perfect sense, and she felt proud of him for taking such a mature stance. "You're taking this far better than I expected you to."

There was an ocean of sadness in his eyes, and even more in the flash of his brief smile. "I do love you, Bells, and I guess I'll always wonder what could have been, but even if I'm not Alpha, I can't put you ahead of my entire tribe."

Bella nodded, not entirely sure how to feel about that. For all that she had hated the posturing between Jacob and Edward, the constant attempts to one-up each other, some small part of her was upset that Jake could put her aside so easily.

As if he could read her thoughts, Jake flashed his old, cheeky grin, "You were right, Bells; this isn't about us. I'll let you know what the Elders decide."

.

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A/N:_ This has been playing on my mind for a while, and I finally had enough of a break to write it all down._

_Look, treaties can be re-negotiated and changed. While there is no way the Elders would do that for a case of "lovesick teenager with a deathwish wants to be with a guy who already abandoned her once", there is a lot more leeway in a case of "Vampire Mafia wants to silence potential witnesses". Bella is not more important than their entire tribe and several thousand people, and if looking the other way and saves thousands of lives and gets the Cullens out of their hair for good, I can see the Quilute Elders agreeing to the change._

_Such a shame no-one bothered to think of pointing that out in the actual text..._


End file.
